The Dromomaniac

Imflowing

I just re-read "When You Are Engulfed In Flames" by David Sedaris. We're going to see him in October and I just felt the need to read something ridiculous after a series of less-than-satisfying novels. My favorite part by far is "The Smoking Section." Similar to his experiences in Parisian language school, he recounts mistranslations while in Japan and for anyone who has ever taught English or tried to learn another language, it's freakin' hilarious.

I was literally crying last night as Mr. Sedaris detailed bizarre English phrases he'd found in Japan. An aside: this is far more common than you'd think. Walk around Chinatown in NYC and look to see the cheap clothes that Chinese people - not tourists - actually buy. It's littered with incomprehensible English phrases. Which is cause to pause: is that cool kanji tattoo really saying anything? Or in my case, does it say "Dumb round eye thinks this says something cool"? 

Anyway, my favorite sentence in the book is from the description of the craftsperson who'd made a clay tea set. It read "With being enchanted by the warmth of Cray and the traditional of pottery over the period so far she is playing active parts widely as coordinator who not only produce and design hers own pottery firstly but suggest filling Human's whole life with fun and joyful mind." 

Now I know I am really in no position to criticize this since I can't even imagine learning to speak Japanese, but I also know that there are no less than 5,683 English schools in Tokyo alone. Sure the eloquence above could've been proofed by one of them. 

This did get me thinking about some of the things my students have said. Recently, one kid wrote that we worked on "math shits" instead of "math sheets" and I didn't bother to correct him. In conversation, my favorite description came from an adult telling me how to cook a certain dish. She told me to "add mushroom first because he takes longest to cook." 

Poor mushroom.

Eyes Don't Fail Me Now

In attempt to curb my restlessness, I'm immersing myself in books. I just finished "Rules" by Cynthia Lord for one of my classes, and it's remarkably well written for a kid's book. My favorite line is "Looking closer can make something beautiful." Amen.

I also have been reading "A Year of Living Biblically" by A.J. Jacobs. It's ok, but I'm already getting a little tired of it. There are simply too many hipster doofi flooding the market with self-exploration quests in print. "Eat, Pray, Love" gave me the same vibe. I really dug both at first, and really didn't soon after. We'll see what happens there.

I ordered a book about the hunt for Lincoln's assasin (which may indeed be the title as well) for my book club. A good non-fiction read is always up my alley, though I was ready to throw "The Minds of Billy Milligan" a third of the way in.

"Revolutionary Road" was just started today. I'm on a Kate kick after seeing "The Reader." I'd love to see "Revolutionary Road" as well, but I hope to get through the book first. Since there's so much award buzz around the film now, I should be able to finish.

And, in keeping with the Kate kick, I just ordered "The Reader." I can't WAIT to crack this one open. The movie was so beautifully made that I can only hope the book is similar.

What I'm Missing

Toxic

Lovely.

On "Fresh Air" last night, Devra Davis, author of the new book "The Secret History on the War on Cancer" detailed many disturbing things:

-Little research has been done on curing cancer or preventing it; rather, most is done on treatment since it is much more profitable.

-Placenta-based hair products have induced disporportianely high breast cancer rates in young black women.

-Few doctors are properly trained in CT scan precautions.

And this one, folks, KILLS me:

-The artificial sweetener aspartame is one of the most toxic carcinogens we ingest; in lab studies, rats were riddled with tumors after three years on aspartame, but these results were never released since experiments only track two-years worth. Even so, the government did not approve aspartame until Donald Rumsfield became CEO of the producing company between government gigs. Aspartame is linked to brain cancer, but since brain cancers take so long to develop (20-25 years), the implications of this won't be clear for a while - when all those who grew up drinking this crap have reached their 40s +.

So put down the Sweet-n-Low and back away very, very slowly...

My dilemma

I've been reading "The Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollen since last week. And I'm now Officially Fucked.

I'm a bit of a pain-in-the-ass with food anyway; I don't like to eat overly processed foods, do NOT dig potato chips, etc as snacks at all, don't like fast food (last had McDonald's in... uhm... 2000? Maybe...), and - are you ready? - I'm from LI/NYC and I don't like hot dogs OR cheesecake.

There! I said it!

I shop at the local co-operative market because I tend to prefer "whole foods" whatever the frig that means. Like "organic", it's very nebulous terminology. For me, it means walking into a store and getting that tamari-ginger-garlic-patchouli scent that invariably clings to health food stores. While the Lexington Co-Op is much more supermarket than health food store, there's still a lot of organic produce, and there's a great selection of bulk bins.

But now? Totally fucked. I've just made it through the chapter on corn, and I realize I can't eat... anything, it seems. According to Mr Pollen, we all eat about 6 tons of corn per year whether we touch an ear or not. Corn is so indutrialized that its components (protein, fat, starch, etc) are teased apart and reconfigured into frankenfoods. I'm summerizing, of course, but that's the long and the short of it. So, my new, attempted rules of epicurial engagement are:

1) If there's an ingredient I can't pronounce and/or I don't know how it is made, I won't buy it.

2) If I can't replicate the product without a factory, I won't buy it.

So, this all seems simple enough, right? I mean, I shop at a co-op, fer crissake! I don't ever buy Ding Dongs and Hi-C anyway, so this shouldn't be too hard. Except now? It took a full half hour to buy $25 worth of things. Sure, produce is fine, as is most dairy... or not, since most dairy is corn-fed these days... Shit...

Tonight, I'm going to make a mushroom soup (since it's a balmy 55F right now). And the bloke gave me a juicer with which I can juice me up some carrots and beets. But other than that? Fucked. I can't even buy cereals anymore since most of them contain corn or its components. Bread? Unless I'm making it myself, it's probably got a component or two of corn. Even cheese is probably from corn-fed cows. So fucked.

Of course I could just get over it and eat like a normal human, but I'd much rather feed my OCD monkey... that's far more fun in a masochistic sort of way...

Done

I did it.

Should I categorize this under 'books' or 'current affairs'?

Washing

I've been reading a lot again lately, at least when I have the time. I've been dabbling with some of Krishnamurti's thoughts, and I finished a Maugham novel about the search for spirituality, and I've begun a D.H. Lawrence novel - most of his are about the struggle of morality and love. Perhaps this is all a reflection of where I am at the moment, but they're all resonating deeply with me.

Last night, I got into a debate about freeing oneself from conditioning. For me, this seems nearly impossible; what's more relevant, though, is that it is completely improbable as I don't desire to be freed of conditioning. I've been raised in a society in which the individual is strong; I don't want to fold into the fabric of a civilization in which my role has been determined. Sure, mine has been somewhat: I'm a middle-class white American and therefore have a set of expectations and exclusions that are very realistic for who I am. But, I also value my mind, my desires, and I can live according to those.

I was speaking today on the phone with a new acquaintence about his wife; I like her a lot and would love to get to know her better. "I know I'm a bit of a wild card," I explained to him, "but I like to think it's part of my charm."

It's true. After 33 years in this body - a nanosecond in the realm of humanity - I finally feel like I'm grasping who I am. I will not marry again anytime soon, despite what most people thought when I left my husband. I will not settle down to have a child; in fact, I want to bring any child I'm associated with along for my swirling, colorful ride. I alone can decide what freedom means for me, as well as what love means. For the first time, I feel love to be light, bouyant, bright, and not a heavy word that is laden with responsibilty and pain.

And so I'm going to laugh from my belly when something strikes me as absurd - and that, kidz, is very often. I'm going to love who I want to without apologizing. I'm going to gather up my gorgeous, rascally friends and slobber my joys and woes without worrying about judgement.

I'm just going to live as my soaring nature wants to.

Razor Sharp

I love W Somerset Maugham.

Just began "The Razor's Edge" two days ago and canNOT put it down...

Comme c'est curieux

I dreamt in French last night.

I assume that's because I was listening to French music and reading "War & Peace" (in which French is spoken by the upper classes quite a bit).

I also assume it's because I'm nervous as hell about how rusty my French skills have become.

But since I can't recall a thing I debated in my dreams last night, let's rest easy assuming that I'd negotiated the biggest cross-Atlantic wine sale ever. En francais, bien sur.

Resolving Some More

Despite having made some resolutions already (see below), I've decided to post a few more.

Believe it or not, I really do make resolutions every year. I don't know how or why I got in the habit, but I know I've been doing it for at least 7 years. I never make huge resolutions, just small doable goals. I think I go through this annual ritual to try to help me focus on what I feel I need to accomplish.

Last year, my focus was on stability. I wanted to get out of NYC because I felt I'd never be able to be financially stable living there. I also felt I had to break unhealthy patterns that created emotional instability. Overall, I feel I have accomplished that; while nothing's ever certain, I have streamlined my life and let go of a lot of negative influences. I feel I've become truer to myself, which in turn has helped me get a more stable vision of what I want out of life. I also am FINALLY financially stable; I'm out of debt and on the road to savings. And in my career, I finally feel as though I'm moving up. I know you have to put in time on the ground level, but my dedication and enthusiasm are yielding positive results.

So this year? My focus is on health. I'm a pretty healthy person all-around; I don't smoke, I eat well, and I try to exercise. But I want to concentrate on total nutrition, preventative measures (like St John's Wort) , and getting my body in better shape. I believe this will help create healthier habits that will encourage better mental health - which, in turn, encourages healthier career moves and relationships.

On, and I want to read "War & Peace." I've started it today; with the amount of traveling I have lined up, I'm certain I'll have plenty of reading time.